The Lord Directs Our Steps

I was asked to write something about my first Light in Darkness experience, how I got started in it, or perhaps why I feel called. I do want to share why I feel called to this ministry as well. However, that is a pretty deep story. It will take some serious prayer and writing time to relate. For now, here is a brief account of my introduction to LID and what I have learned.

My step-mom, Deborah, has been working with Light in Darkness Ministries in Kokomo for nearly a year now. I have been on her prayer team and have always looked forward to her coming home after her night at the clubs and telling me her “war stories.” We rejoice together over successful encounters, answered prayers, etc. And we weep together for the hearts and lives of the men and women she meets in the clubs.

I knew from the beginning Deborah felt pressed that I should be more involved. However, not only did I not feel complete release to participate, my work schedule would not allow it. Not to mention, well, I was afraid.

Then a few months ago I had my heart broken. Oh how often it takes serious brokenness for me to listen to God’s leading! I will admit, I did not handle this breaking particularly well. I might have a tattoo of a heart on my chest, but I more often than not wear mine on my sleeve.

That following Monday I could not stand the thought of going into work and still feeling so alone and so shattered. I called in sick and asked Deborah if I could go with her to Kokomo. She spends the whole day leading Bible study and counseling sessions before it’s time to hit the clubs. And there is nothing quite like spending the day with your mother serving others to takes one’s mind off your own woes. 

During our prayer time before going out to the clubs, I got to meet some of the ladies from the Kokomo LID team. These are women I’ve grown to love and respect just through Deborah’s accounts of them. This team is a great inspiration!

I chose to be a Moses that night; to be one of the prayers who stay in the parking lot while the Joshuas go into the clubs. I ended up being by myself at the first club. This is unusual, but I think it made it a little easier to pray out loud in the car for the first time. Then at the next club I was joined by another woman. Wow! Could this lady pray Scripture!

It was so neat to sit outside praying and waiting as the team entered the club. This club was one we were certain they would get kicked out of instantly. You see, the owner of this particular club had given strict instructions to his staff not to let “the church ladies” in. But as the minutes ticked by, it became more and more exciting to witness this miracle that God was performing right in front of me. Almost an hour later our team returned to the cars and gave their excited report of their time inside. At that moment I gained a much better understanding of the role of the intercessor in this ministry.
It still took several weeks for me to be confident that God was calling me to join a team. When the Waterline team decided on Wednesday nights and chose a time that fit my work schedule, I knew it was the Lord. Once I felt that release, I have never for a moment doubted my involvement. It seems almost scary the extent to which the Lord has increased my faith. I am so confident that God has hand-picked our team and that He puts together just the right partnerships each week. 

I know how different it is for the women who go inside the clubs, but maybe that’s God too. They’re bombarded with images we’ve spent most of our lives trying to avoid, and sometimes they even become fearful or discouraged. Me? I just pray. And when I pray I now know God listens, He answers, and He moves. I can have all-faith and all-confidence to lift up my sisters when they’re in the pit, in the darkness. That’s the point of this team. The Joshuas go into battle while the Moses stay back and pray with a faith that can move mountains… or club owners.

Since joining this team I have heard more than one testimony from our Joshuas that the exact thing the Holy Spirit has put on my heart to pray fit the exact circumstance the girls were facing inside right at that moment! The role of the intercessor, the Moses, is so vital and so dear to me. It has been a serious challenge and something I never thought I could or would do. It is amazing how God uses each of us; though it may take some braking and stepping out of our comfort zone. 

“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 

~Tina

How Long Will You Forget Me?

Last night was my very first night being able to go out with the Light in Darkness team. It definitely wasn’t easy. I can tell you Satan knows how to use fear and intimidation to mess with me. But as we prayed, the fear and nervousness were replaced with a peace that only God can give.

We were trying to decide which club to go to. Gia let Tamara and I decide. After we decided, I listened to Gia describe the club. She said that typically when they went into this particular club in the past, the dancers didn’t approach them or talk to them much. She also said that there seemed to be a lot of people in the parking lot, but few people on the inside. This particular night was a bit different from that. First I should tell you all that Hollywood strip clubs are way different from real ones (I had the Hollywood version in my head). The room was pretty dark, but there were various kinds of “club lights” (I guess you could call it). Most of the lights came from black lights(I was glowing, so were Tamara’s teeth). I started to analyze and think through everything that was happening around me. I was also trying to place who people were. I saw one or two bartenders, a server, and several dancers walking around the room. There was typically a dancer on the stage, either being watched, or giving someone a personal dance. There were also several men that were casually sitting around and/or interacting with the dancers. The hard part, for me, was to see some of the dancers walking around so nonchalantly. I think I was surprised by the fact that this lifestyle was normal to them. They weren’t bothered by having conversations with men topless or having men touch them inappropriately. At the same time, I felt a huge burden and very brokenhearted for them. I began to think about what each of their stories could be. I wondered if they knew they were beautiful and worth so much more than this. Tamara and I were praying for each dancer. We were praying for their safety from the things or people in their life they may be dealing with. We also prayed that if the opportunity was given to us, we would know the words to say to love on them and meet them exactly where they were. We were never able to talk with any of the dancers, but we sure did pray for them.

At one point during the night I felt extremely overcome with fear and discomfort. There was a “private dance room”, however, “private” isn’t so private. It happens to be a room without a door…with some weird, cheap and colorful lighting in it. I looked over at the wrong moment, and I wish I hadn’t. I actually was pretty frightened by what I saw. It was the silhouette of a dancer and of a man. There were a lot of sexual acts happening that I scared me the moment I saw them. I had felt the presence of bad things the whole time, but this moment was more-so than ever. I asked Tamara if she saw the same thing. She said yes, and we began praying. We were texting our awesome prayer team in the car. God was speaking to me through the scripture. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7. Lots of people were praying, Tamara and I were looking up scripture, and I was starting to feel better about it. I could definitely feel God moving.

I am so excited to be a part of this ministry. I know God will use us to do big things in a very dark place. I am looking forward and curious what exactly God has in mind. I can’t wait until I can be there again, and hopefully be able to talk to some of the beautiful ladies that work there. 

-Megan



A note from Gia, one of Megan's prayer partners from the parking lot:

When Megan text about the fear she was experiencing from the extreme sexual activity happening so close to her, I opened the YouVersion app on my phone and asked God to direct me to the best words of comfort and encouragement. I opened to Psalms chapter 13:

O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?
    
How long will you look the other way?

2 How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
    
\with sorrow in my heart every day?
    
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?
3 Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
    
Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.

4 Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!”
    
Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love.
    
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.

6 I will sing to the Lord
    
because he is good to me.

I immediately text this to everyone I could think of that was on our team and/or praying for us from home. Nearly every single person I text, replied with their focus on verse 5: “But I will trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me.”

I believe every single woman in that club has asked or wondered if God has forgotten her. I truly do. But Light in Darkness Ministries is a way to provide an answer to them. No, He has not forgotten you. No, He has not forsaken you. He has a plan and a purpose for your life. He wants to rescue you...

We’re there to provide a way, a reminder, and to reveal His love for them TO them.

~Gia

Be Strong and Courageous

Similar to our director, Carolyn's story of seeing a billboard for a strip club and asking the Lord to send someone to love those girls, and he calls her to be "that person", I have heard of "strip club ministry" and XXX Church. etc and thought, what a cool ministry for "someone" else to do! (surely not me!) Then I was introduced to my new friend Gia (our music guy at Waterline's wife) and shortly after we met, she became involved in Light in Darkness ministries, and again, I thought, what a great ministry for "someone" to be involved with. She asked us to join her prayer team, and I was thrilled to find what I thought would be my way to support this powerful ministry that "someone" should support and be involved with. 

Recently, Gia and Carolyn have begun reaching into the church my husband and I planted, to see if there are women and even some men wanting to help bring light into these darkest of dark places in Indy, where Light in Darkness hasn't yet reached. I wanted to be a support, but wasn't planning to be the "someone" to go in and make a tangible "in person" difference! 

Needless to say, within a couple of weeks of attending a training and informational meeting, God plopped me in the drivers seat of our mini van and I drove three friends to the east side of Indy to enter a strip club, called Babes with Gia and my friends Taylor and Mary Sue out in the van praying across the street and friends and family across several states praying for our mission and safety! I RARELY feel super intimidated or overly anxious or nervous, and I did great until the turn onto Pendleton Pike. I suddenly realized I'm driving myself to a strip club, going in, and have NO IDEA what is or isn't going to happen! I couldn't hardly breathe, and even offered the idea of joining our director Carolyn and her veteran strip club ministry friend, Ruth at the club they were going to, so we wouldn't have to be alone! Gia didn't seem to pick up on my "offer", so off we went, as Mary Sue so sweetly massaged my shoulders as I was driving giving me a very physical sense of support and strength! I have to say, my faith has often been tested in church planting, but nothing we've ever done in this three year journey, nor in my several trips overseas comes close to as daunting of a task as walking into a strip club, where very sad and sinful acts are taking place, and several known illegal activities are frequent. I'm from a very small farm town, I attended a safe Christian college, and I currently live in one of the lowest crime counties in the nation...walking into a strip club is really pushing me to live on faith! The unknown was so frightening. The feeling of being "under cover" is scary. The lingering thought of our group being asked to leave a back parking lot of a different club two weeks prior was giving me a spirit of fear and timidity.

In our prayer time, we talked about a spirit of power and focusing on the LIGHT, not the DARK...and so that's what I tried to do. I tried to tell myself, this is just a bar in Indy with some unique entertainment on the stage in the middle of the room. I followed Gia's lead through a heavy steel door, no windows, up to the money taker at the door, and on to a table in the middle of the room, where we ordered a diet coke and water. We paid for our drinks, sat quietly, felt uneasy, felt unsure, and it hit me, we cannot do this in our own power. I could go on and on about all of the unrealistic fears that crossed my mind, or on and on about the sad heartbreaking things we saw out of dancers, or the group of construction workers who came in the club and heated things up a bit, but instead, I would like to focus on where I saw God. 

God was with this team from the initial forming. God is with those dancers, club owners, bartenders, and customers. God is there, God sees each tear, God sees each heart break, God sees each family at home of both dancers and customers. God sees these women walking in from Light in Darkness, God sees these prayers of support, God sees the teams who support Carolyn and her vision and HE IS GOING TO WORK AND MOVE, we just have to be faithful. I am being faithful to walk into dark and scary places to begin to lay a ground work to love these people, all of them, the believers and the unbelievers, the broken and those made whole, the hurting and the healed. 

Untrue to my natural self, I couldn't hardly speak to a soul inside the club. I froze up and was full of fear, but I still saw the Lord there, in that place. I saw him sitting at the table with Gia and I, and I felt Him through the prayers, texts, phone calls, and hugs of my prayer team, ministry team and friends. I feel God leading me, the small town girl, sheltered pastors wife,  to bring support and love to this ministry, to these beautiful lives inside these doors of very abnormal gathering grounds of "Christian ladies". The brokenness and pain in their lives is huge and is real. We have to go be the light of the Lord and the tangible hands and feet of Christ to these broken people in these dark, dark places. 

I'm looking forward to seeing another club or two and watching the Lord's plan unfold among these businesses, and hurting souls. As I got home and laid in bed with my husband and son, I felt very strong and empowered for facing a huge fear and taking a big risk for the Lord. On the other side of it, I am grateful for a ministry that seeks to tangibly love, support and pray for these people whom I personally, would likely never meet outside these doors. It wasn't quite as scary as I thought it might be, it was more heartbreaking than I expected, and I'm convinced, this is a great way to spend a few hours, loving the least of these. 

My God is a STRONG GOD, Mighty, and He is with us, WHEREVER HE TAKES US!!! This song REALLY resonated with me that night! (click to hear).

Joshua 1:9 This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Thanks to my prayer team, teammates, and friends for your love and support!! I'm glad to see the Lord sending me as a "someone" to reach into these lives and hopefully be a catalyst to expand this effective reach into a lost and very broken culture. 

~Danielle

Live To Enjoy The Light

Sometimes, it doesn't seem like the best decision to go in strip clubs bearing gifts for the dancers and their children. After all, these local clubs are not the nicest places. But whenever I go in there, I feel as if my team and I are ushering in a breath of fresh air...and light. When I enter, I wear a huge smile and meet the eyes of everyone that I can. I know the patrons are puzzled, but the bartenders and dancers usually know exactly who we are.

Our latest outreach night was amazing. I came home blasting worship music in the car and drumming the steering wheel, singing at the top of my lungs. I had tears streaming down my cheeks, but they were tears caused by the presence of the Lord. His presence brings love. That is important to note. Because when these ladies and I enter the clubs, we've been saturated in prayer and enter with His presence with us--bringing Him and His love with each breath we take. He is like our perfume. Isn't that awesome to think about? It makes me giggle.

The first club we went in, I've only been to once before. Previously, we weren't there more than fifteen minutes before we were asked to leave by a burly bouncer who wouldn't make eye contact with us. On this night, we must have gotten there before he did, because we were able to stay and pray and be a friend for as long as we wanted. I sat right down at the bar and started talking to the bartender. We brought her a big bag of baby presents (she is due to give birth in April). I mainly asked her about her other child and how this pregnancy was treating her. Eventually, I ran out of things to talk about and suddenly asked her, "What did you want to be when you grew up?" A sad look passed in her eyes and she frowned at me. After a while, she shrugged and said, "Nothing. I didn't think of being anything when I was little." I asked about later in life, what did she want to be? She still said nothing.

"Oh, there had to be something," I said. "Like...at one point, I wanted to grow up and be Maverick from Top Gun." She laughed but still shook her head. "Think about it. Wasn't there anything? I mean, I knew this girl once who wanted to be a semi truck when she grew up."

She adamantly held her ground and said there was nothing she wanted to be. She looked sad, explaining that she had all kinds of siblings and she spent most of her childhood being Prince Charming. I don't know what she meant by that, but it tugged at my heart.

As we were talking, I noticed a young man on the other side of the bar. He was younger than me, and kept glancing over at our group, listening to us. I didn't think anything of it until a dancer brought him and another man over to our group. She knew my mother-in-law and was asking for prayer for a health problem she was dealing with. As they were praying, the young man turned to the older woman in the group and began explaining how he needed God to help him turn his life around. He spilled all his dirty laundry at her feet, barely bringing his eyes to meet hers, and when he was done, the entire group put their hand on his shoulders, lifted their other hands to the Lord, and prayed over him, his friend he came with, and the dancer his friend lived with...

It was pretty amazing. On the other side of the club, obvious prostitution was taking place, a dancer in her late sixties was on the stage dancing, and yet here we were, lifting up the name of our Heavenly Father, praying for a young man that knew he didn't need to be there. They both left before we did, tears in the young man's eyes.

NOTE: I do not go in clubs to minister to the male patrons. It was a coincidence that the dancer brought her boyfriend and friend to meet my mother-in-law (who is in her fifties). I didn't engage in conversation with these men, but left it to the much older women.  It simply isn't appropriate for me, but I did join them in prayer.

The next club we visited, we entered alongside police. The club was dead, apparently having been cleared of the patrons due to a fight that broke out between two of the dancers. The wounded dancer was sitting in the bathroom floor in a little puddle of her own blood. She took a blow to her head from the heel of her own stiletto. She was in tears, crying, trying to clean herself up. Other dancers were trying to get clothes to her, but were so frazzled and shaking that I took her clothes, purse and keys, and helped her get her ID out for the police and EMTs.

It turns out that one of the officers on the scene knew all about the church ladies and personally knew my mother-in-law, which was nice. We sat at a table near the bar and just prayed silently, being available to help in whatever way we could. This is the club where I got my first kiss on the cheek from a drunk (or stoned) dancer and asked them to play one of my favorite songs: Radioactive by Imagine Dragons. The dancer couldn't find my mother-in-law's request of His Eyes Are On The Sparrow by Whitney Houston. "You want me to play some gospel up in here?!?!" The dancer laughed. But you should have seen the faces of the ladies on my team when my request blasted to life. I smiled ear-to-ear. "What? I love this song! This is a song I can pick up my sword and shield and go into battle with." They just giggled, but nodded their heads, knowing exactly what I was talking about. Sort of.

For the most part, we were at the second club to bring a peaceful enviroment with us. We sat and prayed as the police did their thing. We sipped our bottled waters, avoided looking at the stage (the nice thing about the police presence is that hardly anyone danced), and made small talk with one another. It might have seemed like a waste of time, but I know it wasn't. We were in the right spot, at the right time, giving the rattled dancers a squeeze of the hand and asking if they were okay. That was enough. Because next time, they might feel they can trust us with more. These girls, they deserved to be something amazing when they grew up. Shine some light in the darkness, and there is the possibility that they will see His face...and know they are beautiful, even in those clubs, in His sight.

"He redeemed my soul from going down to the pit, and I will live to enjoy the light." 

~Job 33:28